How to Get a Guy / Girl in IM?

02 February 2010

I don't know how I would put this post title but, this is on how to get a guy or a girl in instant messaging.

This sounds desperate and dumb but there are some people who would like to chase after someone but just don't have the guts or chance to do it in real life. So online seems to be another choice.

Getting The Contact
You can have many ways to get your contact's e-mail. Be it through a friend, through social networks, blogs, or basically anything. By surfing randomly in Facebook you could find someone maybe your friend knows as well and so on. Say that you're a friend of your friend's contact and have similar interests. State the reason why you're adding, e.g just to make friends.

Some people you could meet through games, and ask for their e-mail.

Nico is one of my contacts I got through gaming.

General Steps
1. Chat generally.
Talk about how you found that person to add as your contacts, talk nicely and be polite. Introduce yourself and maybe let the person know more about yourself so that he/she feels comfortable with you.

2. Ask a few general questions, get to know.
Now you've introduced yourself, and talked a bit, you could get to know each other. Like say...share your hobbies, interests, ideas, gossips and everything else. As you talk more and share more, you will understand more about each other's personality, mindset and even lifestyle. (So you can decide to ditch that person now, before you regret!)

Nico made a nice biodata of herself to show me although we haven't met each other yet.

3. Relax and hold back.
No one wants to be asked out or being known too much on the first day. So be sure not to talk too much until you touch a sensitive subject. Just keep it for the next time and go slow. Come back every 2 days, then everyday.

4. Play games!
After all that boring mumbo-jumbo conversations, it's time to have some fun with each other. Play some games with each other and eventually let him/her win. Crack some jokes and bully each other a bit while having fun. Your contact will feel that you're a very friendly and amusing person, aside from all that kind and politeness charm you gave merely through words.

You can also play the game called "20 Questions", where you question each other 20 question about their lives and there'd be no lying.

Yeah, she says I love you too! in MSN...and she didn't even knew how I looked that time.

5. Now, realise how your contact feels about you.
By now you should look for signs whether your contact likes you or not. If your contact really only wants to make friends, or had someone else in mind, or did not believe in online relationships, you could still try to convince that person that you're better than the people he/she knows.

If you face such problems, you have to go slowly and keep being that person's best friend. If she comes after you and starts conversations, advise you about your life, send you lots of e-mails and stuff like that, it might mean that she is attracted to you.

Nico did this in her wood project showing her love to me, although we haven't even met.

6. Ask out!
Now you're so happy and having fun with that person, it's time for you to actually meet up. Maybe go by a casual saying to meet up with a bunch of friends. Normally if your contact has no confidence, he/she will not go out alone with you.

Success. After 1 year and 9 months together, we finally were able to meet in Genting for our first date and kiss.

Once you succeeded asking your contact out, means you've gained some trust of your contact. From there onwards, it's all about repeating the steps and making yourself seem better and irresistable by having the same interests, same kind of thinking and put in some effort to make situations where both of you could get a spark.

It sounds dangerous huh, if I were a pedophile or a grifter, how would you think Nico would end up? So ladies, please be careful when you date online. The person you're trying to date might not be real. Luckily Nico met a guy so innocent and true like me...and luckily I met her as well.